We made it to another week! I hope you had a great weekend. Here’s the second post in our Relational Email Series for resolving relationships.
Most of us hate conflict or describe ourselves as — conflict-averse.
Society doesn’t necessarily reward yelling or screaming, but if it does, it’s still really unattractive to most of us – not because of what it IS but for how it FEELS.
There are some conflicts that resolve themselves, so we don’t really think of them as “conflict” at all – even when they are. If we just resolved it and “feel better” we are likely to start associating conflict only with pain instead of progress.
What if we can learn to identify conflict without pain?
I’m not saying there won’t be discomfort. What I am saying is that the pain will feel “clean” instead of “dirty.”
“It’s the pain you experience when you know, exactly, what you need to say or do; when you really, really don’t want to say or do it; and when you do it anyway”.
David Schnarch, PhD, LMFT
So this week, I’ll offer you a few reflection questions and invite you to explore your relationship to conflict. What happens in your life when conflict goes well? What if conflict could transform relationships so we don’t have to avoid the hard things (or each other) as much?
What does “conflict” usually feel like in my body?
Can I remember a time when disagreement led to clarity or closeness?
How do I know when tension is becoming too much for me?
As the year turns, I’ve been reflecting on what I want to center in my work and in my own life this year. I shared the topics I want to cover this month, in a previous blog – but you may be wondering why those topics are highlighted in particular.
Based on research I conducted throughout 2025, one thing has become increasingly clear: our sense of well-being is deeply shaped by the quality of our relationships, not just the absence of conflict, but how supported, steady, and connected we feel within them.
Because of that, my commitment for this season is to focus on relational wellness; the everyday ways our relationships either support or strain our capacity to feel settled.
Throughout January, the email series and Settle In practices will gently explore how conflict, confusion, and avoidance show up relationally, and what it means to care for our well-being in the middle of those patterns.
These emails and their reflection prompts are invitations for you to consider your self and your relationships. There may be nothing to fix or resolve right away, just an opportunity for you to have the space to notice what’s been asking for your attention.
If you’d like to join the first monthly Settle In Practice on January 10th, you can register here.
Thanks for being here, I look forward to exploring this together.
p.s.
New here? If you’d like to receive the rest of this relational series by email, you’re welcome to join my email list here.
Not ready for a Settle In practice or the email series? Here are a few self-guided reflections that may be a support to you:
These reflection PDFs are offered as free opt-ins so they’re accessible to folks who find this work through the blog. If you’re already on my email list and would rather not opt in again, you’re welcome to email me directly and I’m happy to send the reflection your way. 📩 [drlashawnwilliams@gmail.com]
Theme: “Why do we keep fighting and never end up resolving anything?”
Before we jump into the mix of relational conflict and confusion, let’s slow down and orient to where we are today.
It’s a new year, and with it often comes a quiet hope for things to feel a little different, especially in our relationships. However, we all know that a new year doesn’t always mean new relational patterns. Sometimes it simply makes old ones more visible.
January often brings thoughts about change, resolution, and what we want our relationships to feel like this year. So as a new year begins, many of us are quietly taking stock of how our relationships feel and what we hope might shift.
Tell me if this is familiar: a look, a tone, or a phrase is uttered in conversation and there you are – your breath sharpens and your body braces for impact. A casual conversation suddenly feels stressful and painful. By the time this “spirited discussion” (at best) ends, the same questions surface again: Why are we back here? Why does this keep happening?
When interactions start looping like this, it’s probably not because you’re doing something wrong. Often, these moments point to how unresolved dynamics are affecting your sense of well-being.
What if you didn’t have to feel caught in conversations that are like shaken snow globes—where everything is stirred up and nothing ever gets the chance to settle?
If tending your relational well-being feels like part of your intentions for this year, you’re welcome to join me on the first Saturday of each month for a Settle In practice. And whether you attend or not, we’ll keep exploring what it means to stay well in the midst of real relationships. If the Settle In practice feels inviting, save your spot here.
p.s.
New here? If you’d like to receive the rest of this relational series by email, you’re welcome to join my email list here.
Not ready for a Settle In practice or the email series? Here are a few self-guided reflections that may be a support to you:
These reflection PDFs are offered as free opt-ins so they’re accessible to folks who find this work through the blog. If you’re already on my email list and would rather not opt in again, you’re welcome to email me directly and I’m happy to send the reflection your way. 📩 [drlashawnwilliams@gmail.com]
I wanted to pop in to tell you about the three relational topics you can expect me to touch on this month.
Each week, I’ll be sharing reflections connected to relational wellness — not to fix anything, but to help us notice how our relationships impact our sense of steadiness and well-being over time.
Here’s what January will gently explore:
Relational Confusion (Jan 5th)
We’ll begin by noticing the confusion that often shows up around recurring conflict — those moments when you find yourself wondering why the same issues keep resurfacing and feeling unsettled by the lack of clarity.
Relational Conflict & Stress (Jan 12th)
Next, we’ll explore how conflict impacts the body and nervous system — especially when it feels overwhelming, draining, or hard to stay present with.
Relational Patterns & Awareness (Jan 26th)
We’ll close the month by stepping back to look at patterns: what’s been repeating, what’s becoming clearer, and what your relational system may be asking for — without pressure to change everything at once.
You don’t need to read every email, attend every practice, or engage with all of it. These reflections are offered as touchpoints you can return to when they’re useful.
I’ll also be offering a free Settle In practice each month for those who want a quiet, optional space to ground, reflect, and orient to these themes in real time.
I’m glad you’re here as we begin the year.
See you Soon,
LaShawn
p.s.
New here? If you’d like to receive the rest of this relational series by email, you’re welcome to join my email list here.
Not ready for a Settle In practice or the email series? Here are a few self-guided reflections that may be a support to you:
These reflection PDFs are offered as free opt-ins so they’re accessible to folks who find this work through the blog. If you’re already on my email list and would rather not opt in again, you’re welcome to email me directly and I’m happy to send the reflection your way. 📩 [drlashawnwilliams@gmail.com]
A gentle settle in practice focused on relational awareness, stress, and well-being. Explore monthly themes and reflective support for January–March 2026.
The first quarter of settle in practice focuses on relational awareness and capacity. This means noticing how our relationships, stress, and energy affect our well-being over time. These practices are offered as a steady, low-pressure way to build awareness before trying to change anything.
Each month includes:
a live, guided settling practice
a shared relational theme
a simple well-being lens to support reflection
These sessions are designed to be:
accessible (no preparation required)
non-evaluative (no scores or submissions)
optional and supportive
Some people attend a single session. Others return monthly to notice patterns across time.
Deeper reflection, tracking, and integration are available through group and individual support spaces.
For those who like to know what’s coming, the first quarter of Settle In will gently explore relational awareness through the following themes:
January — Relational Resolutions Noticing how conflict, patterns, and connection actually work — without pressure to change everything at once. Well-being lens: WHO-5 Well-Being Index
February — Stress & Capacity Exploring how stress shows up relationally and what it does to our availability, patience, and energy over time. Well-being lens: Perceived Stress Scale
March — Burnout & Disconnection Noticing signs of emotional exhaustion, withdrawal, and relational fatigue — and what supports reconnection. Well-being lens: Maslach Burnout Inventory (adapted)
You’re welcome to attend a single session, return monthly, or simply use these themes as reflection points in your own time. If you’d like to join a live Settle In session, you can register through the Resource Hub.
You don’t need to attend live to benefit, these themes are offered as orientation points you can return to in your own time.
Looking forward to this wellness journey with you!
This reflection is offered as a thank-you for being here.
It’s not meant to fix anything, resolve anything, or prepare you for a better version of yourself. It’s simply an invitation to pause, notice, and take stock of how your relational life has been shaped this year — with care and without judgment.
You can move through this slowly, skip questions that don’t resonate, or return to it more than once.
1. Settling In
Before reflecting, take a moment to arrive.
Let your eyes rest on something nearby — a color, a shape, a window, or an image.
If it feels okay, notice where your body is supported.
There’s nothing you need to change about your breath.
When you’re ready, continue.
2. Looking Back Gently
Consider the year behind you.
You might reflect in words, phrases, or symbols.
What relationships felt nourishing or steady this year?
Where did you notice effort, strain, or confusion?
What patterns became clearer — even if they didn’t resolve?
There’s no need to make sense of everything.
3. Noticing Yourself
Shift the focus inward, without self-critique.
How did you show up relationally this year?
What did you learn about your needs, limits, or values?
Where did you practice honesty, protection, or care — even in small ways?
Growth doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like awareness.
4. What You’re Carrying Forward
Rather than setting resolutions, consider orientation.
What do you want more of in your relational life next year?
What do you want less access to?
What kind of support helps you stay grounded and connected?
You don’t need answers — just honest noticing.
5. Closing
As you finish, you might choose:
one word
one feeling
or one intention
to carry with you into the next season.
You can return to this reflection anytime.
A Note About the Resource Library
This reflection is part of a growing Relational-Cultural Resource Library I’m building — a collection of videos, reflections, and guided practices designed to support relational understanding and nervous-system-aware growth over time.
If you’re curious to explore more, you’re welcome to visit the library here:
There’s no pressure to join or keep up. The resources are there when and if they’re useful. We’ll continue this kind of gentle relational reflection together as the year begins.
