Select Page
SAVERS & the Miracle Morning

SAVERS & the Miracle Morning

by | Mar 25, 2019 | Identity Growth and Change, Relational Spaces, The Bookworm Therapist

I’m not one to jump on a bandwagon of latest fads, but let me tell you how I found the SAVERS acronym and why I think it’s helpful. 

But first, the backstory: In the last quarter of 2018, my good friend introduced me to bullet journaling and in the process of trying different layouts and surfing the learning curve of all things #bujo I ran across this goal setting layout called “Level 10 Life.” (Another blog for another day) While trying to get more background information on what the Level 10 life was, I ran into the same name (Hal Elrod) and three words: The Miracle Morning. 

So now I’m searching Hal and the miracle morning to see what this is all about. This led me to Barnes and Noble (because it was out of stock at my public library and I was #5 on the waiting list) on a Saturday night where I found the book and sat down to flip through it and see if I wanted to purchase it. 

an oversized brown patterned chair holds a blue book entitled "The Miracle Morning"

Where read The Miracle Morning

I finished the book in about 2 hours and took notes of what mattered most and made sense to me.

Enter the S.A.V.E.R.S. acronym.

SILENCE * AFFIRMATIONS * VISUALIZATION * EXERCISE * READ * SCRIBE

It’s actually called the LIFE SAVERS for multiple reasons, but it’s shortened to “savers” and if you check pinterest for SAVERS and bullet journal layouts, you’ll see example upon example of ways that folks are creating their miracle mornings. I was intrigued and skeptical about its effectiveness because of how popular it was. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about it once I got home. Was I ready to try it?

I knew a few things for certain, however, I wasn’t waking up an hour earlier to do it. I’m a single parent of 3 kids under 12 and sleep is a precious commodity. I was open to considering restructuring my present wake-up-and-wrangle-kids-and-go routine to see if or how i could fit this “miracle” into it. 

Want to know what sold me on the technique? Two major points/takeaways from the book: 

First, the SAVERS are suggested to be done an hour earlier than when everyone else in your home gets up (again, huge NOPE for me). People get so excited about their success that they start waking up 2 hours earlier (2 hours of NOPE). This wasn’t going to be me BUT one sentence gave me enough hope that it could work and it was this – “If you can’t do 60 minutes, then just do 1.”

The way SAVERS is set up is that it’s 10 minutes per letter: 10 minutes of silences, 10 minutes of affirmations, 10 minutes of Visualization, 10 minutes of exercise, 10 minutes of Reading and 10 minutes of Scribing (Writing). The goal is to carve out an hour of time to invest in yourself and start your morning off positively and productively. As a busy as my family is, I knew I could try for 1 minute if I wasn’t able to do 60. I set a goal to do 4 out of 6 letters as consistently as possible. I regularly read and write, so I just focused on SAVE, especially the E, because exercise is not my super power.

That weekend I started and I logged about 45 days of consistent SAVE-ing in my bullet journal. What made it work? It was simple to do and there was always at least one thing to do so that I could check it off of my list.

The piece that sealed the deal for me was a paradigm shift on consistency. 

We’ve all heard the adage that “it takes 21 days to form a new habit.” Elrod discusses this in his book and says that it actually takes 21 days to form a new habit but 30 to cement it into your routine. I have to agree with him here because of how he broke down the 30 days. To be brief, he says that Days 1-10 are unbearable and it takes about everything in you just to get to day 10. Once you hit Days 11-20 it’s uncomfortable but no longer impossible. Day 21 is where most of us think we’re cured, so we stop and then wonder why we don’t have the new habit solidly in our lives? It’s because we have to go from day 21 to 30 to do so. He calls it the “unstoppable” part of your process. 

I held onto that 10-days-at-a-time mindset for the first 45 days that I was using the SAVERS acronym and, of course, like all good habits, I got excited and proud of myself so I stopped doing them all each day but it’s different this time. It’s easier to start again, even with just 1 minute. 10 seconds of silence, 10 seconds of affirmations, 10 seconds of visualization, 10 seconds of exercise, 10 seconds of reading and 10 seconds of scribing. 

It’s truly amazing what you can do in one minute and the sense of accomplishment of “just doing something” that you promised yourself you’d do. So, that’s my very brief opinion on why the SAVERS have become my game changer and I share them with people I know. It’s an easy way to start doing something different that is beneficial to your self and your health.

As always, be gentle with yourself, trust the process, and keep trying. You’re worth it! 

 

 

Therapy isn’t a bad word, it’s just misunderstood.

Therapy isn’t a bad word, it’s just misunderstood.

by | Jan 24, 2019 | Identity Growth and Change, The Divorced Therapist

When your mentor says it, all you can do is repost and share your own story!

Therapy was not a dirty word in my family, it just wasn’t a real one. I say that to mean that it wasn’t something discussed in my family growing up. We were an active-duty military, Southern, Christian Black family.  My parents were first generation college graduates. We survived, “we made it,” we were successful, we prayed. We didn’t have to go to therapy.

Therapy wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t real. 

Therapy wasn’t anything we saw as a resource or an option. However, talking was important to our relationship with my mother and it was probably the closest we got to experiencing the listening ear of a therapist. 

Could I have used a therapist for any of these major life events?

– adjusting to mom’s remarriage? Yup.

– adjusting to step dad?Yup.

– figuring out the relationship with my bio dad? Yup.

– and step mom? Yup.

– multiple moves? Yup.

– having 4 siblings enter my “only-child” world? Yup.

– maintaining relationships with siblings on my dad’s side? Yup.

– meeting a new sibling as a junior in high school? Yup. 

– changing schools, homes, church congregations & friendships? Yup.

With our frequent moves, creating a relationship with a new therapist after every move may have negatively impacted the therapeutic relationship. (A good fit and consistency is important!) Therapy may not have been conducive to our lifestyle and I realize this in hindsight. So while therapy wasn’t real to us, I can definitely acknowledge that it could have been helpful for me as an “only-turned-oldest child” in a new family configuration as one of many reasons. 

I got closer to therapy experiences before I finished elementary school. My near-therapist was a Catholic Priest in my 4th and 5th grade (and only) years of private school. I don’t remember his name, but here’s what I do remember:

Whenever it was time for weekly confessional, he always came from around the mesh divider and sat in front of me. He always listened. He didn’t interrupt me. He was approachable enough that I trusted him with my story and my struggles of being a stepchild, a jealous older sibling, a new kid at every school (every year!) and a confused kid about having two sets of parents and trying to get along with all of them. I don’t know that there were any huge “a-ha!” moments for me when we would talk – I was barely developmentally ready for “talk-therapy.” I just knew that it gave me the energy and perspective I needed to try again for another week. Every week. I really appreciated him for the safe space he gave me to explore my thoughts and feelings. 

I didn’t officially enter therapy until I was an adult. First it was pre-marital counseling, which shifted into marital counseling, which evolved into divorce process/individual counseling. 

I have loved and grown from the work with most of my therapists (not every one was a good fit)! For me, being a therapist “on the couch” of another therapist, either alone or as a couple, I really was able to appreciate our therapy training.  It gave me insights into myself as a person being seen through the eyes of another professional.

I have appreciated having my own, very necessary, safe space via another therapist’s expertise. I have appreciated the accountability and the support, the belief and the empowerment that I’ve received in therapy. It has been what’s helped me feel better prepared to show up for not just my own clients, but for my family, my friends and my profession, too! Being in the same shoes as your client is validating! We really care that you have the right fit because the connection and potential work truly depend on it.

I echo the words of my mentor who shares her journey here: therapy isn’t a bad word! It can be a mystery, but it is a mystery with a real solution for your life and the lives of your loved ones. 

A few reminders if you’re considering therapy for the first time:  

  1. Remember that it is its own relationship and needs time to establish itself. Give yourself 2-4 sessions to establish a rhythm.
  2. It’s important that you feel safe, heard & understood. You want to know that your therapist can comfortably speak your language (literally and figuratively). Ask about their specialties and preferred approaches. 
  3. It’s okay to see a few therapists before you make a decision to receive services. Ask about free consultations!