This month has launched the Relational Wellness Series with weekly newsletters covering topics on conflict in relationships and how we can continue navigating connection in our lives.
If you joined the monthly Settle In practice, you had a chance to directly explore well-being as a relational practice.
You can see the rest of the Roundup in the newsletter here: January Relational Roundup
Sometimes what wears us down in relationships isn’t a big argument or a dramatic rupture. It’s the ongoing tension – the conversations we avoid, the things we carry quietly, the effort it takes to stay regulated around certain people or situations.
Relational stress often builds slowly. When conflict doesn’t feel safe, resolved, or clear, our bodies stay on alert. Over time, that vigilance can feel exhausting, even if nothing “bad” is happening on the surface.
This month, we’ve been exploring relational patterns — what repeats, what becomes clearer, and what our relational systems may be asking for, without pressure to change everything at once.
Stress is often the signal that our capacity is being quietly taxed.
Some people notice that what helps most in these moments is nourishment: remembering what connection feels like when it goes well. Others find relief in building stamina: learning how to stay present and engaged without escalating or shutting down.
A few resources, if it’s supportive:
And here’s this week’s reflection. It is an invitation to notice how stress shows up for you – not to fix it, but to understand its impact.
These weekly reflection questions are offered as a gentle pause, not an assignment. You don’t need to answer all of them, write anything down, or come to a conclusion. They’re here to help you notice what’s already shaping your relationships and well-being, and to orient toward what feels supportive right now.
Reflection:
We’ll continue exploring stress and capacity together as we move into February. As always, you’re welcome to take this at your own pace.
Warmly,
LaShawn
Welcome!
We made it to another week! I hope you had a great weekend. Here’s the second post in our Relational Email Series for resolving relationships.
Most of us hate conflict or describe ourselves as — conflict-averse.
Society doesn’t necessarily reward yelling or screaming, but if it does, it’s still really unattractive to most of us – not because of what it IS but for how it FEELS.
There are some conflicts that resolve themselves, so we don’t really think of them as “conflict” at all – even when they are. If we just resolved it and “feel better” we are likely to start associating conflict only with pain instead of progress.
What if we can learn to identify conflict without pain?
I’m not saying there won’t be discomfort. What I am saying is that the pain will feel “clean” instead of “dirty.”
“It’s the pain you experience when you know, exactly, what you need to say or do;
David Schnarch, PhD, LMFT
when you really, really don’t want to say or do it;
and when you do it anyway”.
So this week, I’ll offer you a few reflection questions and invite you to explore your relationship to conflict. What happens in your life when conflict goes well? What if conflict could transform relationships so we don’t have to avoid the hard things (or each other) as much?
As the year turns, I’ve been reflecting on what I want to center in my work and in my own life this year. I shared the topics I want to cover this month, in a previous blog – but you may be wondering why those topics are highlighted in particular.
Based on research I conducted throughout 2025, one thing has become increasingly clear: our sense of well-being is deeply shaped by the quality of our relationships, not just the absence of conflict, but how supported, steady, and connected we feel within them.
Because of that, my commitment for this season is to focus on relational wellness; the everyday ways our relationships either support or strain our capacity to feel settled.
Throughout January, the email series and Settle In practices will gently explore how conflict, confusion, and avoidance show up relationally, and what it means to care for our well-being in the middle of those patterns.
These emails and their reflection prompts are invitations for you to consider your self and your relationships. There may be nothing to fix or resolve right away, just an opportunity for you to have the space to notice what’s been asking for your attention.
If you’d like to join the first monthly Settle In Practice on January 10th, you can register here.
Thanks for being here, I look forward to exploring this together.
p.s.
New here? If you’d like to receive the rest of this relational series by email, you’re welcome to join my email list here.
Not ready for a Settle In practice or the email series? Here are a few self-guided reflections that may be a support to you:
These reflection PDFs are offered as free opt-ins so they’re accessible to folks who find this work through the blog.
If you’re already on my email list and would rather not opt in again, you’re welcome to email me directly and I’m happy to send the reflection your way.
📩 [drlashawnwilliams@gmail.com]
Theme: “Why do we keep fighting and never end up resolving anything?”
Before we jump into the mix of relational conflict and confusion, let’s slow down and orient to where we are today.
It’s a new year, and with it often comes a quiet hope for things to feel a little different, especially in our relationships. However, we all know that a new year doesn’t always mean new relational patterns. Sometimes it simply makes old ones more visible.
January often brings thoughts about change, resolution, and what we want our relationships to feel like this year. So as a new year begins, many of us are quietly taking stock of how our relationships feel and what we hope might shift.
Tell me if this is familiar: a look, a tone, or a phrase is uttered in conversation and there you are – your breath sharpens and your body braces for impact. A casual conversation suddenly feels stressful and painful. By the time this “spirited discussion” (at best) ends, the same questions surface again: Why are we back here? Why does this keep happening?
When interactions start looping like this, it’s probably not because you’re doing something wrong. Often, these moments point to how unresolved dynamics are affecting your sense of well-being.
What if you didn’t have to feel caught in conversations that are like shaken snow globes—where everything is stirred up and nothing ever gets the chance to settle?
If tending your relational well-being feels like part of your intentions for this year, you’re welcome to join me on the first Saturday of each month for a Settle In practice. And whether you attend or not, we’ll keep exploring what it means to stay well in the midst of real relationships. If the Settle In practice feels inviting, save your spot here.
p.s.
New here? If you’d like to receive the rest of this relational series by email, you’re welcome to join my email list here.
Not ready for a Settle In practice or the email series? Here are a few self-guided reflections that may be a support to you:
These reflection PDFs are offered as free opt-ins so they’re accessible to folks who find this work through the blog.
If you’re already on my email list and would rather not opt in again, you’re welcome to email me directly and I’m happy to send the reflection your way.
📩 [drlashawnwilliams@gmail.com]